See [[Depression - the fog|depression]], [[anxiety]], and [[mania]] # Bipolar [[how would you want someone to respond if you were irritable]] remission... - Is it fair to say I have it? - why am I so hesitant to say yes - Do I think it'll ever go away - if not it what? - Is a diagnosis helpful? - What medication is there? - Who are the helpful thought leaders on this? - - What resources exist? - What do I mean when I say bipolar? - How does that differ from "regular folks"? - Do I know anyone with my brand of wee and woe? - - What would a robust management of it be? - - Other questions - [[why are we worst to the people nearest us]]? ## Start from a place of resourcefulness - x ## What is the rock and what is the hard place? - There is not enough time in the day to do all the things - to keep me sleeping - to keep my body not in pain - (ex. I've been typing 10min an my shoulder hurts) - to contribute equally in the house - to do something of value for the world - to do something that I can get paid for - An easier to manage life would help, and that means a minimal apartment - The tight rope - sleep too little and certain symptoms - sleep too much and other symptoms - When I push and do more work, the other things slide - I feel judged like I'm not doing enough or handling it incorrectly according to people who think they know whats best (having literally zero experience with what I'm dealing with) - It is alienating to hear that all that I'm doing isn't enough - I feel like I can't ask for support - Why? Because its fucking weird and folks, and especially my wife, have their own shit to deal with. Their tulips needs watering, which is fair, but still I feel unsupported. - I feel like I can't talk about. - Its a strange topic to say I woke up at 2am (having taken no drugs) but feeling high/madly in love to a point where I can't sleep - Its strange to explain that its my birthday and I fully know that I am loved and have a beautiful life but still I am very down - - Medication... - its impossible to say what could make it worse or better, or worse for a bit then better, or better for a bit then worse - ex. passionflower for anxiety seems like it could have played a role in mania - The literature is split on what works and basically every med has the side effect of either mania or depression ## How I'm proud of handling it... - Recently at the height of irritability... - I went to walk on the grand - I went to yoga - I barely considered and decided against escaping with drugs/food/sleep ## What makes it worse Define "worse" as more problematic symptoms - ## When have there been bright spots? - Not sure, #FailureToTrack ## What makes it better? - less / well tolerated stress - structure [[structure|structure]] - - good [[sleep]] - good [[nutrition]] - good [[exercise]] - Being around supportive people that I can show up high/low energy ## What symptoms? (which are problematic) - [[irritability]] <-- seems like the most likely to cause a critical fail - conflict - [[impulsivity]] (ex. donations, purchases, drugs, [[emotional eating]]) - Common commorbities - [[anxiety]] - [[ADHD]] - Secondary effects - Lonely - Discontent - ## #Caution - Chances are you are focusing too much on yourself. - [[if you are hesitating to reach out to friends something is wrong]] ## I don't like the word bipolar. It is about as undescriptive as you could get. There is stigma. I don't have what other people have. Everyone goes up and down. ## I don't have the words - [[The problem with terms for mental health issues]] - Every cycle is different. - Emotions that vary quite a bit feels like it is totally normal. ## Areas where struggles have caused problems. - romantic relationships - ++ ? ## Areas where struggles don't seem to cause problems - ?Work () ## The aftermath - [[The aftermath of mental health problems]] - I feel compelled to explain odd behaviour (but also hate excusing it) - [[drugs]] - [[5-htp]] - [[infatuation]] / [[falling in love]] - [[self-loathing]] - [[false self]] ## Suggestions... - Getting into your body is a good idea - schedule stuff like (yoga) - [[micro-hangs]] - [[leave the house|getting out of the house]] - Avoid the computer and [[hesitation|puttering]] - build [[momentum]] - [[timer|timers]] - [[be here now|just watch]]. [[wee and woe]] Walking [[if and how to tell a friend about your mental health stuff]] ## What routine to address it - focus on the roots - ## #Caution ## Related - [[ADHD]] (bipolar is a common comorbidity) - [[anxiety]] and [[panic attack|panic attacks]] and [[Depression - the fog|depression]] - [[waves]] - [[narrative]] - [[supplements for mental health]] - [[labeling|label]] - [[Obsessive Compulsions|dwelling]] [[the past]]