# You talk too much If you stop talking, you might hear something. ## A note to myself - sometimes you talk to much when you are trying to make the person you are with more comfortable - sometimes you talk to much when you are excited - I know that reading this (even though it was written by you) illicited a fear that others think this... - 1) they likely occasionally do think you talk too much - but honestly its likely not that much (you do ask others a lot of questions) - and also...its okay for you to be the one excited and talking occasionally, just make sure to breath and **still try to pay a lot of attention to the other person as you talk** - 2) It is okay for people to think that - just be the type of person they feel comfortable telling (and good friends have and will do so and its great even if it was a tad hard to hear the first couple times) - the relationship feels safer when friends communicate semi difficult things like this ## A note to friends - If you are a good friend, the good news is, you very likely do not do this (and if you are worried about doing it, chances are even less likely you do it) ## A note to others - It is often a vibe killer (especially if your talk is just about yourself) - Talking too much is one of the most likely reasons you won't be invited back to a thing ## When i especially notice it in myself... - I am doing it at commonly low energy times of the day for people - ex. slept over, you just woke up, I'm bouncy - ex. it is past your bedtime - In both these instances... its a good opportunity to either a) lean into lower energy interaction, ex. massage, breathing or b) get out of the space ## When I notice it in others - when you are anxious / hyperactive - when you are talking over your partner - when you are talking over children - when you are talking over women - when you are talking over people who you see as less valuable than you - when you are on stimulants - in some youth (in this case its almost always adorable, unless its a dinner party and your 4 year old demands the floor all night as you argue with them about eating their mash potatoes) Talking over lovely people? Hush, hush now. Ask some questions. ## Talk has its drawbacks - ex. try and make [[Mr Raven Tushman]] really melt while saying words.